Friends of Maddie - Supporting Families Supporting Babies

The pain of losing a child is unlike anything I have ever experienced it is so personal and truly indescribable unless it has happened to you. My heart goes out to every mother out there that has had to endure this most unnatural phenomenon. As the 6th of every month approaches I am always overwhelmed, I want to share my story. I hope that you find hope in my story and it eases some heavy hearts.

On the 5th of July 2008 I went into preterm labor, I was pregnant with twin boys. I had no idea what was going on until my contraction started coming hard and fast and I started bleeding heavily. I remember thinking why are am here when we were directed to the labor and delivery ward, my husband even told the nurse she was mistaken, I could not be in labor I was only 22 weeks pregnant. I was 5cm dilated and one of the sacs had dropped, my sweet baby was engaged and ready to be born. I was immediately pumped full of magnesium and the bed was elevated but to no avail. I delivered my first baby, Hugh Patrick on the 6th of July 2008 he was 22wks and 4days, 1Ib 3oz and 11.5 inches. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, his lips were so soft and full and his nose was a cute button nose like mine. The hospital could not save him because he was under 23 weeks so we held our baby, kissed him, talked to him and watched him fade away. The pain of watching helplessly as you child fades away is unbearable, I still wake up sometimes and think it was all a bad dream.

Though the advances of medicine and the power of prayer (to be honest I think it was 10% science and 90% prayer). I was able to carry his twin brother for another two weeks. I delivered my second baby on the 20th of July 2008 (he was 24wks and 4 days). In those 2 weeks I was on bed rest in the hospital nobody, not even the doctors could tell me what was going on, the nurses all prayed for us and nick named me “the miracle mum”. I wanted desperately to be reassured that my second baby would not have the same fate as his brother, I wanted to know how it was possible that he was still hanging on in there after I had pushed his brother out. I got no reassurance or explanation. The doctors all echoed the same bad news, the prognosis was bad, the baby would not be “intact” due to the risk of infection as my cervix was open and the placenta was detaching. My Obgyn was heaven sent, I pray for her every day she embanked on a journey she had never gone before. She just kept pumping me full of the maximum dose of magnesium and alternating my antibiotics. One day a nurse noticed that I had something hanging out of me, I was quickly rushed to the OR we feared the worse. It turned out to be the umbilical cord from the first baby detaching from the placenta, my Obgyn removed it and that was that. We prayed every day and night and we asked for the prayers of every body we know. Finally, my body gave up, I developed an infection and my fever was rising every hour when my temperature reached 103F the magnesium was turned off and we proceeded to the OR again. Liam Michael was born by c-section weighing 1Ib 9oz and 12 inches long. I have no doubt he would have hung in there until I was 40 weeks if I had not got an infection. Liam came home on the 13th of November 2008 3 months and 2 weeks after he was born. He had to have two laser surgeries for ROP other than that he is perfectly healthy with no complications. He is now 18Ibs 5oz, 31 inches he loves to talk, smile and laugh.

Miracles do happen, life can seem cruel at time but ever so often there is a ray of light in the darkness.

~Funmi